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The Meaning of Liff Aasleagh n. A liqueur made only for drinking at the end of a revoltingly long bottle party when all the drinkable drink has been drunk. Aberbeeg vb.

Deeping St. An electrical switch which appears to be off in both positions.

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The look given by a group of polite, angry people to a rude, calm queuebarger. Burleston n. The winemaking region of Albania where most of the wine that people take to bottle-parties comes from. The play, or manoeuvre, where one swordsman leaps on to the table and pulls the battleaxe off the wall. The minimum time it is necessary to spend frowning in deep concentration at each picture in an art gallery in order that everyone else doesn't think you're a complete moron.

A peeble which is larger than a belper.

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Ainderby Steeple n. One of those brown plastic trays with bumps on, placed upside down in boxes of chocolates to make you think you're getting two layers.

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Any urban environment containing a small amount of dogturd and about forty-five tons of bent steel pylon or a lump of concrete with holes claiming to be sculpture. Emsworth n.

Pimlico n. Warm and very slightly clammy.

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The rogue pin which shirtmakers conceal in the most improbable fold of a new shirt. Lindisfarne adj.

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The place where food can be stored after having a tooth extracted. Oundle vb. Huby n. Happle vb. The gooey drips of wax that dribble down the sides of a candle so beloved by Italian restaurants with Chianti bottles instead of wallpaper.

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Harpehden look someone gives you by which you become aware that they're much too drunk to have understood anything you've said to them in the last twenty minutes. Moffat n.

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A forty-year-old sixteen-stone man trying to commit suicide by jogging. The term is also used to describe futile attempts to pursue uncrupulous advertising agencies who nick your ideas to sell chocolates with. The piece of leather which hangs off the bottom of your shoe before you can be bothered to get it mended. Motorists' name for the kind of pedestrian who stands beside a main road and waves on the traffic, as if it's their right of way.

Halifax n. Corstorphine n. But I only had the tomato soup.

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Great Tosson n. Iping participial vb. Henstridge n.

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Fraddam n. Clathy adj. Berkhamsted n. Ockle n.

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Glenties pl. Ibstock n. The quality of not being able to pee while being watched. Fairymount vb.

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You only know it's there when you step on the paving stone and the puddle shoots up your leg. Shirmers pl. Hence, loose, floppy, useless. Anything used harpeden make a noise on a corrugated iron wall or clinker-built fence by dragging it along the surface while walking past it.

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Defined as that amount of margarine capable of covering one hundred slices of bread to the depth of one molecule.

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