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As a writer, I do get to have scintillating discussions with cool, interesting people — a lot of them happen in the comments section on IG and Facebook. Through a lot of trial and error, I have been able to convert some of those relationships into in-person friendships. Even pros say that Facebook is a great place to meet people. Search the terms together and relevant groups. Search for interest plus location on meetup. The way you wantig contact with folks makes a difference.
Try not to take it personally either way. You may not have found your people. But what do you say once you have permission to message someone? Who are the people you sometimes see at the same parties and share mutual friends, but never have one-on-one conversations? Vulnerability always equals more trust.
As a writer, I do get to have scintillating wirh with cool, interesting people — a lot of them happen in the comments section on IG and Facebook. We had a lot of mutual friends and I happened upon her insightful blog about sex, performance art, feminism, and the law.
While I suggest respecting this rule, other times the benefit of making contact with someone outweighs the risk. Through a lot of trial and error, I have been able to convert some of those relationships into in-person friendships.
We went to a yoga class together and had coffee afterwards and the conversation was natural. Save something for later.
Another great way to break the ice is to help them. If folks respond to your comments, congratulations, you have successfully started a conversation.
I decided to keep our appointment. But only when permission is asked in a conversation thread. If feiends offer someone an open invitation, you will probably never meet them. Kicking off a conversation by participating in a feed thread is also a great way to get acquainted with folks before you attend an event.
And, even if it feels a little awkward, try to lead with heart. Do you want to be friends? She advised me to send that person a message on Instagram asking them to get coffee.
All my friends are married with. I needed a strategy to meet in real life friends using the only thing I know: the internet. Would you be interested in having a conversation with me about that? I started sharing her posts and eventually we were having enough of a conversation that I felt comfortable DM-ing her.
If you met someone in a group in real life, you would probably hang out with them in the context of the group for a while before you struck up a friendship. Search the terms together and relevant groups.
For example, retweet or share their latest blog article or upcoming event. But before I did, I asked Bayard for advice on what to say.
I felt ready to hear what Bayard had in store for me and was happy to know that there were only three challenges she wanted me to tackle over the next month to help me make friends. It can be intimidating to go places alone. I wrote each challenge down and devoted at least one week to following through on them. Ro you want to start chatting with someone, start small.
Search for interest plus wsnting on meetup. Comment on something they have posted. I asked some dating coaches how to talk to folks because they are experts in exactly that and they know the difference between flirting and friend-making. Second of all, be clear about your intentions.
Start there. Bayard was patient and listened to me vent.
The way you make contact with folks makes a difference. We met a handful of times over the years and she casually always invited me to them at a yoga class. The first thing Bayard advised me to do was take inventory of people I know and who they know.
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